The Upward Spiral of Gratitude
I know, I know—you’ve heard it before: practice gratitude. But here’s a question worth asking—when was the last time you intentionally and consistently noticed the good in your life? Not just the big milestones, but the little things too: your morning coffee, a kind word, sunlight through the window. This can all be gratitude.
And with World Gratitude Day on September 21st, it’s a perfect reminder that gratitude isn’t just a feel-good trend—it’s grounded in science. Research shows it can rewire your brain, ease stress, strengthen relationships, improve sleep, and yes—make you happier.
Gratitude doesn’t flow from happiness—happiness flows from it. As Tal Ben-Shahar says: “Appreciate the good and the good appreciates.”
Appreciate the good and the good appreciates.
— Dr. Tal Ben Shahar
Thankful, Appreciative, Grateful—Are We Doing Them Right?
Are we doing gratitude right? These words get tossed around as if they're the same, but they each carry a different weight. Thankful is the immediate feeling you get when something good happens. Appreciation is when you pause to really notice and value that good. And gratitude goes deeper—it's the ongoing practice of weaving both into your life, a way of being rather than a single moment. When we transition from merely feeling thankful to genuinely practicing gratitude, that's when the real transformation occurs.
Why Gratitude Works (and What Science Says)
At its core, gratitude shifts our attention. Our brains are wired with a negativity bias—a survival tool that once kept us alert to threats but now makes us dwell on what’s wrong rather than what’s right. Gratitude interrupts that cycle. By intentionally focusing on the good, we train our brains to see more of it.
And science backs this up. Here’s how gratitude changes us:
Neuroscience: Practicing gratitude activates the brain’s reward system and boosts dopamine and serotonin, the “feel-good” neurotransmitters. Over time, this rewires neural pathways to make us more attuned to the positive.
Physical Health: Grateful people report fewer aches and pains, lower blood pressure, and better sleep.
Mental Health: Gratitude reduces toxic emotions like envy and regret, and it’s strongly linked to lower rates of depression and anxiety.
Relationships: Expressing gratitude is a double win—both giver and receiver feel happier and more connected. A single gratitude letter can lift mood for weeks.
Resilience: Gratitude helps us cope by focusing on what remains good. Grateful people bounce back faster from stress and find meaning in adversity.
Gratitude isn’t just a nice idea—it literally rewires your brain to scan for the good. The more you practice, the more it feels like your mind has a built-in compass pointing toward what’s working, even in life’s messiness.
Gratitude improves sleep, rewires your brain, and strengthens relationships.
The Gratitude We Forget
Here’s something interesting: Dr. Laurie Santos, Yale professor and creator of The Science of Well-Being, teaches a practice called mental subtraction. Instead of focusing on what you have, imagine life without it—your best friend never arriving, or mornings without coffee or a wagging tail. This simple mental shift makes us realize how profoundly grateful we are for things we often overlook. Santos explains that this form of reflection helps us savour the present by recognizing how different—and emptier—life would be without those people or experiences.
Similarly, Brother David Steindl-Rast reminds us that we rarely feel gratitude for what we expect—like light from a switch or water from a tap. His advice? Use small reminders to notice these everyday gifts and see them with fresh eyes.
The Many Faces of Gratitude
Gratitude isn't only about what we express—it's also about what we receive, witness, and respond to. Research shows we feel uplifted when:
Expressing gratitude to others,
Receiving gratitude from someone else,
Witnessing gratitude between people, or
Responding to gratitude directed at us.
Each of these experiences strengthens connection, empathy, and well-being—not just for the people involved, but for anyone who notices. Gratitude truly creates ripples.
Gratitude doesn’t flow from happiness—happiness flows from it.
Simple Ways to Cultivate Gratitude
Gratitude works best when it's simple, consistent, and personal. Here are some practices you can try:
Keep a Gratitude Journal – Write down three things you're grateful for each day.
Write a Gratitude Letter or Card – Think of someone who has impacted your life. Write them a heartfelt letter and, if possible, deliver it in person.
Start a Gratitude Jar – Keep a jar in your home where family members drop in notes of gratitude. Read them out when you need to.
Gratitude Walks – Take a short walk and silently name things you're grateful for.
Photo Gratitude – Snap one photo each day of something you are grateful for.
Gratitude Chain – Share gratitude in your family or friend group (each person adds one and passes it on).
Gratitude Stone or Object – Carry a small object in your pocket—each time you touch it, think of something you're grateful for.
"Before Bed" Ritual – Share one thing you're grateful for or journal before sleep.
Practice Habit Stacking – Pair gratitude with something you already do daily, like brushing your teeth or making coffee.
Gratitude at Work
Gratitude isn't just personal—it also transforms workplaces. Teams that regularly practice gratitude report higher engagement, stronger trust, and better collaboration. Here are a few ideas you can try:
Gratitude Board: A physical or digital space where employees post thank-yous and shout-outs.
Friday Gratitude Note: As a leader, make it a weekly ritual to send a short gratitude note to one or more team members every Friday
Team Gratitude Jar: A collective jar where teammates drop notes that are read aloud at monthly meetings.
Workplace gratitude isn't fluffy. Studies show that when leaders express genuine gratitude, morale and retention rise significantly. Gratitude can spark motivation that no perk can match.
Past, Present, and Future Gratitude
Gratitude isn't limited to what's happening right now—it stretches across time. Psychologists often describe three dimensions of gratitude:
Past gratitude – remembering and savouring the good that's already happened.
Present gratitude – noticing the good in the moment, like coffee in hand or laughter at the table.
Future gratitude – anticipating the good to come and being thankful in advance, which boosts optimism and resilience.
When you practice all three, you don't just feel grateful—you live gratefully.
Stop. Look. Go.
Brother David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk and one of the world's most beloved voices on gratitude, offers a beautifully simple practice: Stop. Look. Go.
Stop. Life moves quickly, and gratitude requires us to pause. By stopping—whether for a breath, a moment of silence, or simply resisting the urge to rush—we create space for awareness.
Look. Once we stop, we begin to notice. Look around you with fresh eyes. What's here right now that you can appreciate? It could be as ordinary as running water, the kindness of a colleague, or the way your child laughs. Looking is about shifting from autopilot into wonder.
Go. Gratitude isn't passive—it calls us to respond. Go means to act from that place of grateful awareness. It could be expressing thanks, savoring the moment more fully, or turning your appreciation into generosity.
Steindl-Rast reminds us that joy isn’t found in the extraordinary, but in noticing the ordinary and responding with gratitude. “Stop. Look. Go.” turns even simple moments into opportunities for grateful living.
So, what’s one thing you’re grateful for right now? Pause, appreciate, share—and watch the good grow. Now that’s a spiral worth being in.